People Who Don't Understand Halloween Rules

Do you know what I hate?

People who don't understand Halloween rules.

(Photo above by Sandro Mancino, clearly shows a house that likes and understands Halloween.)

I'm not talking about the folks who either don't have any more candy to give out, or don't have the funds to blow on candy, or simply don't believe in it - that's your right.

What pisses me off are people who don't follow the known Halloween rules.

Look... I know that there are no written down rules for Halloween - unless some dumb author has created some... but really, it's a tradition where kids walk around in a costume, ring a doorbell or knock and scream out: "Trick or Treat!" The door opens, treats are given out. Kids say thank-you and then check out what they got before moving on to the next house. Kids don't do tricks anymore - at least not usually.

Now... if you are new to the country from a place where Halloween isn't done - that's cool... you just don't know how things work...

How do the kids know which houses to go to for the treats?

First off... as a former kid, we used to have an unofficial grapevine where kids would go out with buddies and talk to other kids - strangers - and find out which house was giving away cans of pop or popcorn balls or the best candies. It was always worth the hike to find a house that gave away cream soda - not the pink stuff, but rather the clear or so-called white variety! Parents stayed home and doled out candy and were only seen on the street with kids under the age of 7. Maybe.

You hit every house on the street because every house on the street participated and you'd end up with three garbage bags filled with candy and a surefire bellyache and dentist visit later.  

Now... it's different. Not everyone participates... so how do you know which places have treats?

1) Well... you don't bother the houses with the lights off. That's a rule. That house has decided to not participate in Halloween... or they had to go out somewhere - fair enough. At least they are telling you not to bother them and are saving the kids some time.

2) The outside lights are on at a house. That's a rule. That house has candy. Go and do your quasi-legal begging.

3) You have a pumpkin outside your door. That's a rule. That house is into Halloween and will supply you with candy. Outside lighting is optional.

Which brings me to what happened this evening, as two dads, a mom, a grandfather and I paraded our kids around the cold and wet streets of suburban Toronto - Shaver North in Etobicoke. An area I have lived in for over 40 years... and I can tell you that it is a pretty damn White and affluent area... and everybody knows what Halloween is... and you can participate or not participate as you choose. 

The second house we visited - the second - had a large pumpkin sitting outside the front door. Lights were on in the very visible living room, but the front lights were NOT on.

Still... the pumpkin outside is an invitation for kids to come and ply their trick or treating on the members of the household.

After the kids ran up and rang the door bell... we waited 10 seconds... no one came to the door... but we did see two middle-aged people inside come up to the living room windows right beside the front door and lower and then close the Venetian blinds!

What complete a-holes!

Why sucker little kids in by showcasing the very large pumpkin outside the front door and then tell everyone via the window blinds, that you aren't interested in Halloween?

What's with the damn pumpkin?!

Was it just for decoration?

Why? You obviously don't care about Halloween, because you chose not to participate in the fattening of the children.

So why purchase a pumpkin and place it outside the door?

Vanity? you suck.

If my kid wasn't there, I would have egged your place myself. Or stolen or destroyed the pumpkin you obviously don't deserve. 

You don't fug around with kid's emotions. Get with the program! Learn the rules of, in this case, Halloween! Ignorance of the rules, as the police will tell you about various things, is no excuse.

Do you know what I hate?

People who don't understand Halloween rules.